How To…. Put fresh duvet covers on your bed.

How To….     Put fresh duvet covers on your bed.

  1.  Clear the room of every item with the potential to obstruct the length and breath of a wild duvet.
  2. Arm yourself with the essentials – a whistle, should you get lost in the unforgiving folds of the outer sheet and subsequently need to call for help; a map, in the case of disorientation on emergence from said sheet; a snack, just in case the search for the corners gets a bit much and a tent must be pitched halfway; and in the case of asthmatics, an inhaler, for obvious reasons.
  3. Prepare yourself by sizing up both the duvet itself and it’s soon-to-be skin, ensuring firstly that you have obtained the correct fit – nothing is worse than realizing halfway through the process that you have in fact been attempting to fit a large manta ray into a space where only a baby manta ray is intended to go.
  4. Similar to beginning a jigsaw puzzle, the corners are key to the successful re-fitting of duvet covers. With this in mind, grab a firm hold of the two top corners of the blanket, and dive head first into the sea of cotton.
  5. After blinding fumbling through the top half of the flimsy material, begin your search for the edges like a true Christopher Columbus – this by default should lead to the fabled corners.
  6. When right-angles have been established, sync corner with corner, and if possible, drape the remainder of the cover down the sides of the blanket, thinking with glee that maybe actually this time you did good.
  7. Emerge from a warm ball of knotted fabric, and express your frustration by hitting it, an action which will thoroughly help the situation and ultimately cause the offending bedding to leap ceremoniously into position within it’s covers and ensure you a comfortable and lovely night’s sleep.
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s