‘Twas the week before Picnic, and all through the shops, not a camper was thinking, ‘I’ll bring my flip-flops’…”
With only a week to go to Electric Picnic 2015, here are five revolutionary camping necessities to pack in your picnic basket:
- The Baby Wipe.
An invaluable source of cleanliness and refreshment at any time of the day, Johnson’s would do well to produce a festival-special pack where the pudgy, cute baby pictures on the packaging are replaced with muddy, drunken and denim-clad festival hunzos; flower crowns askew as they search desperately for something to get the muck off their brand spanking new Penney’s boots that haven’t stopped leaking since they fell in that puddle 2 days ago.
- The Extra Layer.
Layers are key – like a cake. – Do not kid yourselves. It may be a festival. There may be flowers and twinkly-lights and colourful hubs of facepainting, dancing, and streamers twirling and music and general happiness everywhere you cast your gaze (oh-my-God-I’m-so-excited) – but this is still Ireland. It is cold here. There is still every chance that the closest we’ll get to this so-called impending ‘Indian Summer’ is a good ‘ol chicken curry from one of the festival stalls. Here’s hoping Met Éireann pull through, but I’m still packing that extra hoodie just in case.
- The Banana.
Cheap, cheerful, and full of genuine unprocessed, uninstagrammed and natural goodness, there is genuinely no better food to re-energize after an uncomfortable nights’ sleep (or lack thereof) on the ground. In a field. In the rain. In Ireland. Oh God why do we continue to do this to ourselves?!? One precaution to take when packing the sunshine fruit-of-the-Gods is fairly obvious – they go on top. Nothing worse than wasted energy being squashed all over the eight or nine other outfits you’re not going to wear.
- The Power Block For Your Power Block.
Despite electricity being part of the name of this particular festival, don’t get your hopes up when it comes to keeping your smart phones on a satisfactory percentage of charge – and that goes without saying about any festival. While last year there were charging facilities and lockers with cables available at EP, it came at a fairly steep price. If you were prepared to sacrifice a good chunk of hard-earned cash for a few hours’ battery life on a phone you’ll be continually checking is still in your pocket and hasn’t been nicked (see #5), then at least the poor workers in the stalls having to go without sleep so you can check your emails at 2am are getting well-paid. While phones are handy to locate lost or drunken friends who’ve gone astray in search of the rave in the forest, chances of their phone being on them and still functioning are equally as slim as yours. It’s a lot easier to just get a backup festival phone and leave the iPhones at home. My trusty black €20 Samsung flip-phone still has it’s charge from last year. I’ll meet you at the inflatable wobbly-men.
- Basically, Anything You Don’t Mind Getting Nicked.
When it comes to personal belongings and valuables at festivals, it literally could not be any more of a case of ‘enter at owners own risk’, and I don’t blame security getting cranky when people come wailing about a stolen FCUK bag. If you bring your designer gear or Macbook Pro to a festival, heroicly guarded and protected by the thin lining and single zip of your Aldi-bought tents (which by the way are surprisingly sturdy when assembled correctly) – you don’t deserve any pity. The unfortunate craze of ‘festival fashion’ creating unecessary pressure to render oneself presentable after spending the night in a field is honestly just damn unfair, and no amount of designer rainjackets or wellies are going to fix frizzy or scraggly wet hair, or dry-up any of the puddles. Embrace the festival-face and Penneys’ shorts, and work the bedhead look.
Festival. Ireland. Rain. Remember!? Gadgets are no use in this kind of environment; the less you pack, the less chance you have of losing, breaking, or having to worry about it. Simples.